I'm a Militant SUV Hater

And I just realized it last night. It’s not that I hate SUVs because of what they do the environment: sending it to hell not in a hand basket, but as a FedEx overnight guaranteed delivery. It’s not because of what they do the economy: it can be argued that their guzzling of gas is one of the reasons gas is staying so high.

It is because, on average 9 times out of 10, the inconsiderate assholes who honk at me, pass to closely, or generally try to assert their right to the road while I am on my bike are driving their super inflated, ego driven, $40k metal with wheels replacement dick - an SUV!

Last night it happened again. I’m riding up 68th St and I hear a few vehicles coming up behind me, and ”Honk, honk…” I’m sorry, but when I’m on my bike and someone honks at me, they’d better have a bike rack on top of their car and a big friendly wave as they pass. Did this guy? Nope. Instead, he passed getting his mirror within 6 inches of me and of course, an open lane beside him.

Consider this a warning all of your inconsiderate SUV assholes (if you drive an SUV, but don’t happen to be an inconsiderate asshole, then you’re ok): the next time you honk at me, don’t stop at the next light that I might catch you at. In case you didn’t know, I’m wearing cleats and I’d hate to see how they would effect the paint your 3 ton metal dick.

/End Rant

I’ve blogged about this before:

The only thing that messes up this cycle-induced nirvana are the self-absorbed roadiacs … who speed their souped up family sedans or quasi-military vehicles … along with no care in the world about anyone else. “Hell, if I get in an accident, it ain’t me that’s going to get hurt. The momentum’s with me and/or I’ll just run ‘em over.”